Well, well, well, Karen Walker. I thought I smelled gin and regret.

"I’m sorry, you must have mistaken me for somebody else. My name is Anastasia Beaverhausen. 'Anastasia' like Russian Royalty, 'Beaverhausen' like . . . where the beaver live."

"I'm fabulous; I'm an incredible dresser; I've got buckets of money; I'm a hoot and a half; and I got a killer rack!"

"The only other person I've apologized to was my mother, and that was court ordered. So take the apology in the spirit it was intended, or I'll kick you in the generals."

"God made you in His image and I’m sure he doesn’t regret it that much!"

"It’s like childbirth but without the unpleasant child afterwards."

"My mother was crazy, that’s why I had her committed. Well, she wasn’t so much crazy as she bugged me."