You need to check yourself

Observations on NYC:

1) Just because you're NYC doesn't mean hygiene doesn't count.

2) Could there BE any more crap laying around?

3) If all those homeless people were in Al Qaeda, we'd not have a homeless problem.

4) Nobody likes an overabundance of scaffolding that NEVER gets taken down.

5) Is there a special Taxi factory that removes all the shocks from the cars?

6) There should never be more rats in a city than people.

7) Subways in NYC -- never a good option for travel.

8) Living in NYC is like being in an abusive relationship with a guy with a huge dick.

9) There are 3 white people in NYC. I know them, I've met them.

10) Other places have culture too. They manage to be pleasant places. Don't brag too much.

Don't get me wrong. I heart New York as much as Carrie Bradshaw. But I'm just sayin.

I want pancakes

" I want pancakes!! You people understand every language except English! Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!!!"